Cinema Disgrace

Teresa and I are avid film fans. At home we have a ginormous plasma screen and regularly rent DVDs. We'd given up going to the cinema because our local establishment (an 8-screen complex in Algarve Shopping Centre, Guia - operated by a company called Castello Lopes) consistently disappointed us on every visit - poor focus, poor sound, pour ventilation, exhorbitant popcorn prices and so on.

But the new film about Queen Elizabeth I - The Golden Age tempted us back. What a mistake! Castello was once again spectacularly successful in spoiling our evening out. First, the men's toilets stank of stale urine. A neatly printed label above each urinal declared that the flushing mechanism had been disabled "to save water" and that instead there was a special chemical block with a "microbiological action" to ensure that everything would smell fresh and hygenic with just one flush per day. Well, Lusmundo management, it doesn't work - the toilets in a Moroccan bus station smell better. And when I pointed the problem out an employee in the foyer, he simply said "Yes, I know." So if he knew, presumably "the management" knew, and yet it still stank.

The next jab at one's sensibilities was the price of the popcorn and drinks - the Ritz in Paris wouldn't dare ask that much.

Once in our seats, it was quickly obvious that the auditorium ventilation was not operating - it was unpleasantly hot and stuffy. Since the outside temperature was mild, I guess they thought they could save money by not running the ventilation.

Then the film started and, guess what? It wasn't properly focussed. After an eye-straining ten minutes I got up and went to find a functionary to fix the problem. A few minutes later it was apparent that someone in the projection booth was attempting to set the focus correctly. The picture snapped into focus, then quickly blurred again. This was repeated three or four times over a five minute period. Then all activity stopped - with the picture still out of focus.

What's more, the projector appeared to be having a problem with it's power supply - the screen image was constantly flickering and oscillating in brightness.

At the interval, Teresa and I got up and walked out in disgust. We'll wait for the movie to come out on DVD. And we are never going back to any establishment owned by Castello Lopes - ever.